A woman deserves respect

"Never take a person's dignity: it is worth everything to them, and nothing to you."
- Frank Barron .
By Toni P.

Give me 5 mins, let me bore you with my rants. Topic of todays rants is Nigerian men that gossip. Excuse my freestyle!! We all interact with different people on a day to day basis. I come across a lot of different personalities but the one that amazes me are Nigerian men who spend most of their time gossiping and telling tales to boost their worth. I have had the misfortune to come across or hear about some of these ignorant human beings who feel bringing a woman down makes them feel better about themselves. There are many examples I could give but for sanity sake ill keep it simple by giving scenarios. First thing you have to keep in mind while reading this is most of our Nigerian men are strong, loving, hardworking men who care for their family and show the utmost respect to their women but then as with any group you have the 1% of bad seeds who make the rest look bad. So I shall be giving you a true life scenarios without getting too personal. All names have been changed.

First scenarios, Peju is a hardworking, fun loving young lady. She respects herself and is far from being promiscuous. She attends a party with her friend and while the men at the party are mingling a guy named Bode brings up the "not-fact" that Peju is a slut and so are all her friends. So, the guys that were considering asking them out change their mind. Please keep in mind that "Bode" doesn't know said Peju personally and he has based his conclusion from seeing her outside not doing anything abnormal, maybe mingling with friends, chances are Bode has tried to date Peju and was turned down.

Second scenario, we will call the girl Clara, Clara is a quiet girl who is a virgin because she is saving it for marriage. So Clara is at a party with her friend and she says to her friend "If I were to sleep with anyone, it would be that guy over there" a guy named Dayo overhears this and two months later a guy named Femi who wants to date Clara on a serious level says to Dayo, so what's the story about Clara. Dayo them proceeds to say, "oh Clara, she is a SLUT, she sleeps with every man she meets at parties". Femi then hears this and decides that maybe Clara isn't who he thought she was based on what Dayo, who doesn't know the girl, but felt the need to talk trash, said.

Third scenario, Bisi meets and falls in love with Kayode, they are both smitten with each other. So one day Bisi and Kayode attend a party thrown by Kayode's friend Debo. Bisi happened to have met Debo 3 years earlier and went to visit him once during the day and left before evening. It was a one time occurrence and Debo and Bisi never hung out again because she became too busy. So Debo sees Kayode with Bisi and goes on to tell Kayode that Bisi is cool, they met a while back and she spent the night with him, nothing happened but she slept over. Keep in mind this never happened because like I said before Bisi went home before evening. Now Kayode is skeptical about Bisi based on what Debo has told him. He confronts Bisi and she tells him its a lie. In the back of his head he doesn't know who to trust but gives Bisi the benefit of the doubt. Even though Kayode says everything is ok, Bisi can still sense a change in him.

Fourth scenario, Kemi and Tola are best friends, they like to go out a lot and both have steady relationships, neither has cheated but one day Kemi hears from her friend Rotimi that when they all went to a party last week, the guys standing at the corner were talking about Kemi and Tola and saying they are rubbish girls. That no guy should take them seriously. Keep in mind none of these guys know these girls personally.

Now, if you fall under the category of these any of these men , or if you have ever defamed a woman without knowing her personally please give yourself 10 slaps because you deserve it. If you sleep well at night knowing you have said something that could potentially hurt someone's future keep in mind, that could be your mother, sister or daughter that some ignoramus (love the word) decides to tell tales about. Its amazing how people forget that the tongue is a very powerful tool and words coming from it may affect someone's life in a very bad way especially if said behind their back in a malicious way. These scenarios I have given are not made up, names are obviously different but they are real life scenarios.

A friend was telling me about a friend of hers whose fiancee broke off the engagement because he heard she slept around, the girl was devastated because she has only has 2 partners and both were long term boyfriends. She couldn't figure out where it was coming from or why anyone would want to ruin her life like that. I said to her, well maybe its a blessing because why would her friend want a man who would leave her just like that based on what some irrelevant person said. Reality is some of us handle things differently, I guess some of us do care what others have to say. My excuse for people like these men, their life is so pitiful they feel the need to talk about others to make it a tad bit more interesting. They do not care about how it hurts the other person.

It saddens me that people like this exist. Also, that they do affect other peoples lives.I really wish women would just stop caring but we live in a society where people will always care what others have to say. I wish women would say a big Buzz OFF to any man who doesn't want you based on what others said. He doesn't deserve you. So to all my ladies out there keep on respecting yourself and always keep your head high.

Thanks for reading!

 

Email Toni at toni@nigerianentertainment.com